They should really pass out barf bags in church
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
