Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
the raccoons are back...
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