Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize