If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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