Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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