I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
