Why does Corona taste like a burp?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
