You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
