Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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