where am i from again
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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