YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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