So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize