I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
