Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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