She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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