Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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