i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
