You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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