She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
