After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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