I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
A+ Viking dick
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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