At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
