Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
