I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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