you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
