Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
