dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
