remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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