The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
