i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
