The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
