I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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