Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
