I am puke
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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