..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
