Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize