I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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