I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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