Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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