im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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