So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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