He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
