the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
