woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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