His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
