think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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