their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
