I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
