Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
