I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
