You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
