Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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