I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
