It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Your penis caused this!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize