just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
