Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
