belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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