The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
