How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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