Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
