I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
