the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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