In the future we'll all be gay
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
