i wish starbucks made bloody marys
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
