I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This baby is an asshole
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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