All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
