i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
can u get pink eye on your cock?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
