roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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