So drunk its hurt
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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