And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
