I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
