You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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