Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
