Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It's just like the Real World with babies
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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