Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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